And So It Begins

Summer is awesome. Already.


Maya got dropped off in Oakley, KS to begin the trek back with my parents to their new house. We ate at Pizza Hut (limited options in that neck-o-the-woods) and said our/my teary-eyed "see you soon's." She is already so happy and doing so well. She's getting tons of TLC, loves her new backyard and is anxiously awaiting a dip in her pool.

My mom sent these when they got home (for the first night in their new house...what a weekend they've had!) and said she's already loving it.

My dad loves to spoil her. I'm sure she's hoping for an oreo...

Speaking of pools... after a long day of driving yesterday, we had a movie night with popcorn and m&m's, sour patch kids (my favorite...I know) and Black Hawk Down off of Netflix. We decided to make today a bit more exciting and headed to Lake Dillon for a Memorial Day picnic. It was super beautiful, but super windy and chilly. We did a bit of outlet mall shopping in Frisco and then headed back to D-town.

Living here never gets old

Ok, now speaking of pools....I got this brilliant (and I do mean brilliant) idea the other day of putting a kiddie pool on the apartment balcony. We shopped around and found this beauty:

Brilliant, I tell ya. We spent a WHILE filling it up- pitcher after pitcher- and enjoyed it for the first time this evening. Now I'm sure apt management wouldn't approve...so we're trying to keep the beach ball tossing off of the balcony to a minimum. Yup. Summer is here.

Adios, Mis (Little) Amigos

Well, we made it! The last day of school!

I didn't expect today (well..Friday. I'm just now getting around to publishing it) to be hard. I found out a couple months ago that I get to stay with my wonderful class next year and be their 2nd grade teacher. I'm super excited that I get to stay with them- so I didn't think saying "adios" for a couple months would be tough. Every other year I have bawled like a baby having to say goodbye to the little people that I spend more time with than anybody else on a day-to-day basis. This year, I thought I would be giving them high-fives at the door and going out for an evening of celebration with coworkers with a big smile on my face, but I have to admit- I'm sad.

These little guys drive me batty sometimes and make me question what I'm doing with my life while I'm in the thick of listening to tattling tale after tattling tale, scolding over-anxious 6 year old boys for running around the playground trying to kiss girls, and making phone calls down to the office for a throw-up or pee clean-up on aisle Ekstrom. It's days like today though, where you step back from your role as "teacher" and look at them as the adorable little people that they are. I mean most of them still have knuckle dimples for crying out loud. 

The boxes are almost packed and the halls are now quiet. I only cried twice and was able to get it together pretty quickly after remembering that I'll see my little darlings in the fall. Say what you will about our summers off, blah blah blah blah....teachers work hard. In my school especially, most of the work goes without much notice or recognition. All the hard work, after hours and going the extra mile stuff is just expected and that's fine. That's what makes teaching what it is. However, any employee enjoys praise and recognition from time to time and it means so much when I get a card or a simple "thank you" from a parent at the end of the year. I got two gifts and one card which made my day. 

The sweet card that meant so much

As I was saying my goodbyes and telling each child how proud of them I am, stay safe, remember how special and smart you are, keep reading, etc, etc, etc- I sort of lost it. I should be saying "thank you" to these guys. They keep me on my toes. They make me go to bed at a reasonable time and force me to be my most patient self. Kids are great "bosses" and I am very thankful for the little 6 and 7 year olds that I get to spend my days with. I'll miss their silly stories and sweet hugs and pictures and will anxiously await seeing them in late August. Until then...let the summer of Sarah begin!

(P)update

Get it? Like an update on the pups? Ok.

Well, this is going to be both a tough and long one. Prepare yourselves.

As most of you (that personally know me) know, this past year has been a huge one in my little life. I was expecting/convinced that my life would be in a very different place than it is now. Life is crazy like that. One day you're picturing a wedding, home, babies, dogs, life with someone and the next it's turned upside down. Now let me be very clear here- I am oh so fortunate that my life was turned upside down. I can see now what true love looks like and how it should feel. I have such a consistent and stable partner in Evan which I am grateful for each and every day and am so excited to spend each day with him. Exiting one unhealthy relationship and entering a healthy one doesn't come without a few growing pains, however.

The men I have spent my life with these past couple years are very different from one another. With my ex, it was pretty much planned out and all in place. The wheels for the rest of my life were definitely in motion. I knew that the track we were on was not a good one, but I continued on until I couldn't take anymore. I have been so blessed to have found a healthy and deep love and commitment so quickly after ending my old relationship. The old saying "out with the old and in with the new" has been proven very true recently. I've left my old house (well, 2 of them since Dec, making this move last weekend my fifth house in the past 12 months) and have moved into a new apartment. I've left and lost a lot of my old acquaintances and friends and have made new ones (break up stink like that.) I have left behind my old way of thinking about relationships, myself and my future and have developed a new healthier outlook on love, life and myself (still working on the "myself" piece) and have now tragically had to leave behind my two loves, Maddox and Maya.

I know.

I blog so often about my puppies. I am still reeling from the loss of my sweet Ranger last July, who tragically died while I was in Jordan. I have loved Miss Maya since the day I first laid eyes on her. She has been through so much change in her short 4 years and has not lived the life that she deserves. Mr Maddox has been the joy of my life since I scooped him up in my arms the same day I arrived back from the Middle East, this past August. He has developed into such a handsome 10 month old puppy with the sweetest disposition.

Picking up Maya in Manitou Springs. Such a happy day.

My baby boy. Home from the Middle East with a new puppy. Incredible.

I have struggled so much with this decision. Ever since my life was turned upside-down, I have not been able to provide Maddox and Maya with the life they deserve. I had counted on having Ben there. I had counted on our different schedules which allowed for ample time for outings and exercise. I had counted on living together after being married which would provide a solid, stable home for them. I had planned on life moving forward at a typical pace with Maddox and Maya and a family. What I hadn't counted on was nearly everything in my life doing an about-face in a matter of weeks.

After having to leave my house in the Highlands, I found myself in the smallest house I have ever lived in (we're talking 650 square feet) in a not-so-safe neighborhood that didn't allow for me walking the dogs alone, with hardly enough room for them to stretch their legs. I hated staying at my house in Five Points alone. I was scared from time to time and quite frankly didn't want to be there. I loved my adorable home in the Highlands and was so angry that I was forced out due to stupid safety reasons. I was so angry that I wasn't moments away from a dog park. I was so angry that my life became a game of ping-pong, bouncing back and forth between school, running home to let the dogs out for a quick hour, rushing back to Evan's apartment, rushing back to let the dogs out for another 30 minutes and rushing back to Evan's apartment. They didn't get ample exercise. They didn't get to cuddle. They didn't get to go to the dog park very often. They didn't get to be around people hardly, for crying out loud. They were spending their entire lives in their kennels and I was so stressed out for reasons out of my control.

I have always been a responsible pet owner. I have always taken my dogs everywhere possible. They were super social and a part of the Denver scene every chance they got. I felt awful every. single. day. Evan and I knew something needed to change. He has allergies that really, really restricted his ability to interact with them at times. He helped me so much more than I could have ever hoped for, and truly took them on as his own, but to be honest, the dogs were simply existing and we were doing the bare minimum, just trying to keep our heads above water. A few months ago Evan and I had a serious talk. We had to figure out a plan. This time in our newly changed lives is just flat out not a good time for dogs. We want dogs and we want a home with a yard and a schedule that allows for dogs to be healthy and happy. This was not that home, not that schedule and not that time in our lives. I cried (a lot) I stood firm that I could manage and that things would get better while Evan patiently waited for me to make a decision. And then I realized that I was wrong. I had to let them go. I was being selfish. I love them and I had to let them go.

I've cried so much over this. I've been physically sick over the anxiety of not having my dogs and over what people would say or think. They are such a source of comfort and happiness for me. They better my life, but I wasn't bettering theirs. Like an answer to prayer, my mom and dad offered to take Maya and Evan's parents offered to take Maddox. Talk about the perfect solution. I will get to see them both so often and know that they are in fabulous hands. Evan and I are quite possibly taking Maddox back when the time is right, which is the light at the end of the tunnel for me. He left this weekend and I was/am heartbroken. Maya leaves this weekend and I'm dreading it. I know that this is for the best. I know that this is giving them the life that they deserve, but boy does it hurt.

Maddox and Evan both had an emotional good-bye in Omaha, Nebraska this weekend, where he met his parents half-way from Denver to Wisconsin, while I was in Seattle, which was a perfect distraction from all the changes that were occurring back home in Denver. When I left for school on Friday morning, I walked away from Maddox and my house for the last time. Evan once again saved the day and was the strong man that I needed. He drove for hours upon hours, stayed in a hotel with two parents and a dog and then drove all the way back to Colorado Sunday in time to pick me up from the airport. What a guy.

He's in such good hands. His dad is already so in love with my Maddox.

Sent today from Evan's mom- he's watching Evan's dad mow. So sweet. Ugh. I miss him so much already and it's only been 4 days!

I feel like a failure. I feel like I gave up on my dogs and on my little family. I know that this was the right thing and I know that it's not necessarily forever, but I feel like I took the easy way out. My dogs have been my family. While all of my friends have been busy getting engaged, married, having baby number one and now baby number two or even three, I've been traveling, moving, experiencing the things that I have wanted to in life, with my dogs. This has been a tough one. So many changes so quickly are more than I anticipated. Evan has pointed out to me that everything is going so well, so what makes sense it to keep going with it. We have a plan in place and we're going with it. I appreciate it and know that it's best...but it's been tough.

I am so happy for my dogs knowing that they will have the life they deserve. They will have a real family that will be home to give them the time, love and attention that they deserve and crave. They will have big backyards (Maya will even have a pool with her very own raft for floating that my mom and dad shopped and shopped for!) they will have parents at home almost all day long, every day. They will have daily walks and treats, they will have room to run around a house and they will have consistency. I want the best life possible for my dogs and I am so glad to know that they're going to have it. When we are ready and able to offer the same sort of life to a dog, hopefully it will be Maddox, but if it's been too long and he's happy and settled with Evan's parents, maybe it will be a rescue dog that is put in our life at the right moment. Whenever that day comes, I will cry happy, happy tears and will wrap my arms around the luckiest dog that will fill the doggie-shaped hole in my heart. Until then, I will visit my dogs as often as possible. I will find joy in their spoiled days at home and will find relief in knowing that our lives won't be a blur of trips across town for way-too-short bathroom breaks and rushing back home for dinner, errands, etc. Often times the hardest decisions in life are the right ones. This I now know to be true for so many reasons. I am so thankful to Evan and all of my friends and family who have supported me during all of these decisions. I love you all.

xo Sarah

One Of These Is Not Like The Other

Children. Gotta love 'em. Especially 1st grade aged ones. They're special. They're unique. They're hilarious.

Soooo  I was looking over some beginning of the year self portraits earlier today and I come across this one done in September:

Pretty incredible for the beginning of 1st grade, to be completely honest with you. I then however look at the same child's end of the year portrait done today and see this:

Ummm.... what has happened over the course of these past 8 months?? Well apparently the child has become African-American (or very deeply tanned), has a black mohawk, lost his nose and eyebrows and ears and all of his bottom teeth. Yipers.

Just think...if a year in 1st grade can do that to a child, imagine what it does to their teachers??! 3 more days!!

Sea-Town

Oh, Seattle. You are one of my very favorite places on earth. I love your mountains, your salty, cool, crisp air and your seagulls flying high above the bustle of a busy downtown. My heart is truly, completely content and satisfied when I'm in your presence.

It's been far too long since I've been to the Emerald City to see my best friend, Jenna. We planned a sort of last-minute girls weekend and off I went! We got to catch up on all of the events of the past few months/year, talk about her babies, get some shopping out of our system (which I'm sure Evan is grateful for), eat at good restaurants, enjoy some great coffee (Starbucks...what else?) and enjoy the sunshine on Saturday and the rain on Sunday. It was perfect.

I miss my best friend. I miss having girlfriends that have known me for years, not just months, around. It is so nice to sit and talk with someone who knows the whole back story. We laughed at stupid things we did in college and talked excitedly about the future and what good things are still ahead for both of us. I so wish Jenna and I lived closer, but we agreed that if we have to travel to visit each other, Seattle and Denver are pretty great places to go.

Today I'm feeling refreshed and ready to get this last week of school under my belt. My new apartment is a mess, I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to be doing all week with my kids and I have to move my classroom (yet again...ugh) but I'm good to go. I feel super excited about my summer with Evan and the start of all that this summer will bring.

The view from our hotel room

14 floors up!

Rainy Sunday morning. Perfect.

The original Starbucks. Such a neat place to see.

Adios, Five Points

Well, I made it. For those of you who live in Denver, you know what an accomplishment this should be considered. Now Five Points in itself isn't all that bad, but my little strip-'o-tha-hood has been a little rough. I've only awoken once to a drunken homeless man on my porch, have only had two of my relatives serenaded on the porch at night by a druggie demanding money for his performance, and have only had about 32,965 sirens whizzing by in the middle of the night. Not too bad,right?

All dramatics aside, it really has been a good spot to land for the past 6 months. Having to leave my adorable house in The Highlands was so not expected or desired, so I really should consider myself lucky to have found such a cute 1890's row-home at the lovely intersection of 37th and Walnut. Downtown is super close, the ballpark is a short bike ride away, there are cool new coffee shops and restaurants we got to try out -and the backyard was pretty sweet.

A lot has happened these past six months. I want to remember these times and this place (hence the pictures). Evan and I really solidified our relationship while being in this home. Maddox grew from a chubby puppy into a massive yet skinny 10 month old dog. I hosted my brother, his girlfriend, my cousin and her friend, I spent the Christmas season here. I tried a lot of new recipes in the kitchen, watched Evan teach Maddox how to play fetch in the backyard and got to do laundry for free. All good stuff.

As of Friday, I'm out of Five Points and closer to the parts of Denver that I especially love. Parks, coffee shops, restaurants and hipsters galore. I hate moving, but will be so happy to be settled, with Evan, enjoying our joint summer breaks. 8 more days!!!

The walls were painted such cool colors. Made a great backdrop for my favorite things! My mom recently gave me these plates that have been in our family for forever. So special.

Part of the living room with my painting! I don't know if it's really that good, but I love it because I did it..so it goes in the living room.

 

The kitchen with Mr Maddox at the back door

The other side of the living room with flowers from Mr E

Loved the crown molding

The view from the kitchen into the living room

Front door with a beautiful window over the top

Loved having the plates out on shelves and not in a cabinet

Miss Maya enjoyed her time here as well

Mamma Mia

Mom, me and Jon (little bro)

Mother's Day! A day to celebrate all of the special women in your life. My mom just happens to literally be the best one out there, so finding a way to celebrate her is easy-peasy. Jon and I whipped up a fantastic weekend with Mamaw to have their nails done, eat a lite lunch/coffee/whatever. It should be good.

Every year I have the same issue at school, however with trying to come up with a cute gift for all of my student's moms/grandmas/sisters amidst the frenzy of the end of the year, packing, report cards, etc. Madness. This year I resorted to my old stand-by; the cookbook.


I went super low key this year on the cover, extra pages with quotes about mom, illustrations, etc, but it still turned out pretty cute. I have the kids each come up and tell me how to make their favorite recipe that their mom makes for them (hilarious) and then I compile all of the recipes into a little 1st grade cookbook. Here are some of my favorite "recipes" from this years edition:

Chicken Alfredo

From the kitchen of Andrew

First you need water and then put the whole bag of alfredo in the pan. Then put it in the oven for 30 minutes. The oven has to be 100 degrees. Then it's done! Take it out of the oven and put it in bowls for everyone to eat.

Spaghetti

From the kitchen of Gabriel

Buy some sticks and put them in hot water. Dump sauce in the water and break the sticks. Put the meatballs in the water too and let it cook on 100 degrees for 40 minutes. Enjoy!

Pancakes

From the kitchen of Izaiah

First you get the pancake thing out that's in the package and then you mix 2 eggs and then next we spin it around to mix and then you put it on the stove and then after that parts done you flip it around and then you put chocolate and raisins on it and sometimes just chocolate. Then you put it in the oven on 60 for 70 minutes and when you take it out it's nice and yummy!

Tacos

From the kitchen of Antonio

Go to the store and buy lettuce and chili and potatoes and meat and cheese. Take it home and turn the oven to 4. Put the taco in the pan and put it in the oven for 5 days. Then you take it out and we eat the tacos with cheese and always ask for more!

Macaroni

From the kitchen of Chris

Boil 5 pounds of water and then let it sit for 5 minutes. Then put the macaroni in and let the macaroni boil for 5 minutes. Then put 5 pounds of milk in and stir it for one minute. Then it's finished!

Pretty cute. I hope the parent's appreciate the humor and are all able to understand the English enough to really get it! Hope everyone had a great mothers day. Moms are the absolute best and I hope that one day I can be half as good of a mom as the one I was blessed with. Love.

Mom, "Old-Pappaw" (great grandfather) and yours truly somewhere in Oklahoma in the early 80's.

Strep-a-licious

I've been totally MIA this past week or so. Why you may ask? Strep Throat.

I had strep fairly often as a child, but can honestly say that I haven't been this sick in a long time. I came to school last Wednesday feeling just fine. Around lunch time though something hit me and hit me hard. My skin was crawling, I felt nauseous, I needed to sit down and not hear the voices of children ringing in my ears. I had to get out.

The nurse confirmed that I had a fever and sent me home (not before I made a pit stop in the adult bathroom to toss my cookies, however). The next 5-6 days were pretty much a blur of sweat, not being able to swallow, fevers, doctor visits, medicine and more medicine, a million marathon-length naps and more episodes of Mob Wives and 16 and Pregnant than I care to admit. Yikes.

Friday afternoon in a sweaty state of mind, I was finally able to really process looking at my dear Evan and saw this:

No, you don't have a smudge on your computer screen and yes, that's right, folks. Evan has decided to grow a moustache. He claimed something like "Dur it's Moustache May" or something like that (minus the "dur") but I call it cruel. My world is falling apart, I can barely breathe or eat and haven't had the luxury of being able to put on real pants for 6 days, people, and he decides to pile it on with this. Thanks, sweetie. The picture does it serious favors. It's pretty downright dirty and I feel like I have some unresolved issues buried deep inside every time he kisses me. Fun.

In all seriousness though, he has taken excellent care of me, has cooked, cleaned, bought tons of Gatorade and orange juice, has taken complete care of Maddox and Maya, has not broken up with me when he caught me watching 16 and Pregnant and even brought me flowers. He's a keeper. The 'stache? Not so much, but nobody's perfect, right?

The (Second) Summer of Sarah

Aaaahhh....the sweet feeling of summer vacation is right around the corner and I can hardly wait! Last year you may remember the summer of Sarah- part 1. I was trying to map out my plan of attack for the upcoming months of freedom, and it turned out pretty awesome, if I may say so myself.

So, I won't be doing any out-of-the-country travel this summer (sad face), but I/we will be doing lots and lots of other fun things this summer.

*First up......Seattle with my best friend and the female love of my life, Jenna! The weekend before school gets out I'm flying in for a quick visit to see the ocean, do a little shopping and have a much needed girls weekend. I miss her oh so much and can't begin to express how excited I am to see her and spend a whole uninterrupted weekend with my best friend. Yay!!

*Next up......Vegas!!! with my best friend and the male love of my life, Evan! I have never been before and can't wait to get away for a mid-week trip to celebrate the end of the school year and the beginning of the summer. I'm sooo excited!

*After that we will be hosting one of Evan's aunts and cousins in Denver, we'll attend the Westword Music Festival again (click here to read my take on it last summer) where the headliner is Girl Talk, which is one of Evan's favorites! Yesss.

*Then.....we will be meeting my whole extended family for a little reunion in Estes Park, which I am uber excited for. I miss my mom, dad and bro so much and am so excited to see them in a couple short months. The whole fam will be there which means lots of fun cousin, aunt, uncle and grandparent time. We'll go hiking, spend time in the national park, eat great food, play a million games, explore town a bit, ride bikes, go on a hummer/cook-out ride and have oh so much fun. Evan has met most of the gang, but will finally get to meet the rest of my extended family soon. Hope he's ready...

*Somewhere around August we will be making a trip to Wisconsin to see his familia which I'm super excited for. I miss his parents and can't wait to be in their home again and see Wisconsin in a bit of a warmer season. We may try and catch a Cubs game while we're around and can hopefully see some friends in Milwaukee.

Long story short: School needs to hurry up and end itself so I can get started with all this fun stuff. Swimming, sun, traveling, having time to do all the things I want to do like work out, cook, do yoga, etc, etc, etc. Man- I'm so glad I decided to come back to the classroom! Loved my last job...but teaching is where it's at!

Eww

Gross. The number of fish in the class has drastically dropped. Weekends are not a fish's best friend, I tell ya. Two weekends ago we lost two and this Monday when I showed up I found not one, not two, not even three, but four floaters.

I react to dead fish like I do live mice. Let's just say it's not a good look. Evan scooped the first two out for me, but I had to find the strength and courage to get the past four out on Monday. I don't understand why their bodies curve into little U shapes in the water or why their eyes turn all white. Bleck.

Anyway, instead of rushing to PetSmart to replace them like I did two weeks ago, I realized that I don't want to be responsible for all those fish over the summer and more importantly, I don't want to carry with me the memory of their carcases being flushed down the same toilet that I use at home, so I decided to have "the talk" with my kids. It went something like this out on the playground during pick-up Monday morning:

Me: "So....tough weekend, guys. Four of our fish died and I'm really sorry."
Them: "Oh, ok. I played SpongeBob video games this weekend!"
Me: "Wait, I said we lost four... Of our fish... This weekend."
Them: "My brother lost his tooth and my baby bit me."
Me: "Ok. Let's go inside and start breakfast."

Guess you could say that went well...